[Ellie laughs alone in her bathroom and it comes out like something broken, caught together with a sob as she presses her eyes into the heels of her hands, shaking, hurting, good.
It's terrifying, feeling one step to the side of reality, and surprisingly, gloriously alive. It doesn't feel real. None of this feels real.]
I'd like that.
I'm gonna try to get up there. But can you take a picture of the view for me?
（ this all feels so terrifyingly normal. a fever dream. some far-off, distant thing.
he used to dream, sometimes, that sarah was alive. waking up from those was always the hardest. those were the times where it was nothing else but sheer spite for the world that would get him out of bed in the mornings.
but if this were a dream, would it be his, or hers? ）
Ellie...
I'm going to be real honest, I don't have the first clue how to go about doing that. But... ah, I'll try.
That might be the worst fucking picture of the moon I've ever seen
[... but that doesn't mean it doesn't mean the absolute world to her. It makes her laugh despite it all, past all the fucked-up feelings still caught in her throat, and she saves it. Saves all of it.]
Well, when you've barely seen a camera in just about thirty years...
（ it's almost cavalier in its self-deprecation. joel takes a deep breath, but it catches and trembles and hangs up in his ribcage in all the wrong ways. it feels like trying to breathe with broken ribs. he read about flail chest once in a medical textbook, hoping that wasn't it one time tommy got hurt real bad, and lived somehow.
you have moments in your life that seem to stretch on into forever. they ain't long themselves, usually. but they're stamped on you like a brand, and they define who you are in ways the rest of the chaff of existence just can't. this ain't one of them, but it feels like an echo of another — standing on that porch, with ellie talkin' about how her life should have mattered. ）
Gotta say, I'm real disappointed there's no coffee on the moon.
[Ellie laughs, though Joel can't hear it, shuts her eyes. She can practically hear his voice in her ear.]
It's fine. I'll get out there sometime and see it for myself.
[Someday -- it's something she's promised herself. For after they get some things handled. For after they get Joel back safe, so she can really see with her own two eyes that he's here, and whole-
Ellie reaches up to wipe her face. Yeah. Joel's more important, by far.]
You'd think Jimothy could afford to buy you a cup or two. What an asshole.
Yeah, it really doesn't fucking seem like it. I'll fill you in later.
[God. Everything just seems unimportant and unreal right now. It feels like a dream she had, even if it's still hovering close. Two worlds, converging.]
Yeah, they're talking about it. I'll be there to meet you when you're on the ground.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 08:45 pm (UTC)[Ellie laughs alone in her bathroom and it comes out like something broken, caught together with a sob as she presses her eyes into the heels of her hands, shaking, hurting, good.
It's terrifying, feeling one step to the side of reality, and surprisingly, gloriously alive. It doesn't feel real. None of this feels real.]
I'd like that.
I'm gonna try to get up there. But can you take a picture of the view for me?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 08:56 pm (UTC)he used to dream, sometimes, that sarah was alive. waking up from those was always the hardest. those were the times where it was nothing else but sheer spite for the world that would get him out of bed in the mornings.
but if this were a dream, would it be his, or hers? ）
Ellie...
I'm going to be real honest, I don't have the first clue how to go about doing that. But... ah, I'll try.
（ attached.jpg
this is the worst possible picture of the moon. is it upside down? jesus christ, joel. ）
no subject
Date: 2020-12-18 05:58 pm (UTC)That might be the worst fucking picture of the moon I've ever seen
[... but that doesn't mean it doesn't mean the absolute world to her. It makes her laugh despite it all, past all the fucked-up feelings still caught in her throat, and she saves it. Saves all of it.]
Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-19 04:24 pm (UTC)（ it's almost cavalier in its self-deprecation. joel takes a deep breath, but it catches and trembles and hangs up in his ribcage in all the wrong ways. it feels like trying to breathe with broken ribs. he read about flail chest once in a medical textbook, hoping that wasn't it one time tommy got hurt real bad, and lived somehow.
you have moments in your life that seem to stretch on into forever. they ain't long themselves, usually. but they're stamped on you like a brand, and they define who you are in ways the rest of the chaff of existence just can't. this ain't one of them, but it feels like an echo of another — standing on that porch, with ellie talkin' about how her life should have mattered. ）
Gotta say, I'm real disappointed there's no coffee on the moon.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-19 07:17 pm (UTC)It's fine. I'll get out there sometime and see it for myself.
[Someday -- it's something she's promised herself. For after they get some things handled. For after they get Joel back safe, so she can really see with her own two eyes that he's here, and whole-
Ellie reaches up to wipe her face. Yeah. Joel's more important, by far.]
You'd think Jimothy could afford to buy you a cup or two. What an asshole.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-20 02:47 am (UTC)Sounds like we'll be coming back on a shuttle at some point in the near future, by the by. To some place called New Tokyo.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-20 02:52 am (UTC)[God. Everything just seems unimportant and unreal right now. It feels like a dream she had, even if it's still hovering close. Two worlds, converging.]
Yeah, they're talking about it. I'll be there to meet you when you're on the ground.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-26 04:17 am (UTC)I'll see you there.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-26 04:19 am (UTC)